Last weekend we set our clocks back one hour to satisfy the 1% elites who want to control every part of our puny lives. Not content to force the working classes to rise early each day to labor in sweat shops and Walmarts [redundant], they make the rest of us dance to their tune by changing the time of day every six months. Have they no decency?
Which is why I'm voting for Herman Cain, a plain spoken tea drinking multi-millionaire. His 9-9-9 plan guarantees that I can stay in bed until 9am. And go back to bed at 9pm. And still earn $9 every working day, minus 90% for taxes. [The 90 didn't sound as good with the three 9s, but you see it in the fine print.]
Has anyone else looked at the 9-9-9 plan while standing on your head?
But I digress.
Conventional Wisdom holds that you gain an hour of sleep on Sunday after adjusting your clock back one hour.
Conventional Wisdom does not live with a dog. Conventional Wisdom surely does not live with a terrier, or Conventional Wisdom would be called Conventional Idiot.
Only a 1% watch dog can afford a battery-driven atomic-clock-adjusting Internet-checking watch. A 99% dog must rely on his own internal clock to know when to sleep and when to awake.
Which is why Clancy now gets up at 6AM instead of 7am.
Which is why I am writing this at 6am.
Which is why I'm going back to bed now.