Our dedicated reader has come to expect a certain degree of disdain and cynicism from the author as he, the aforementioned author, reports his observations and experiences, both novel and mundane. The author seldom disappoints. After plodding through enough five dollar words, some cents appear. The reader's patience is eventually rewarded. Tho not in this paragraph.
Which somehow brings us to today's topic: airport security. Today we boarded our flights to Ireland, starting at the Phoenix airport. After reading many stories about the horrors of unreasonable searches and seizures by Neanderthal TSA agents , I fully expected much grist for this virtual mill. In particular, I intended to refuse a radiological examination in favor of a more personal interaction.
But the experience turned out to be quite the opposite. After a speedy and efficient check-in procedure, which I started at home on the airline website, we proceeded to the security queue.
Jenna walked into the xray machine, waved her appendages about as if forming a snow angel, and passed the test. I could have told them she was no terrorist, had they asked. But who would have believed a husband's assurances?
She caused some consternation by leaving her hearing aid in her jacket pocket. Leads one to wonder, "If a hearing aid explodes and you're not wearing it, does it make a sound?"
Yes, I wonder about these things.
Next I indicated my preference for the old ways.
"We've got an opt-out.", called the guard. Indeed! A short wait ensued and I met my new BFF.
We sauntered over to a table. He patted me down thoroughly but inoffensively, then placed his gloves in an electronic sniffer.
In the Chicago airport, we repeated this routine. Nothin more.
And so I have neither snide nor revealing comments about TSA security. For this I apologize. To them. And to you, gentle reader.
I can't even promise to improve during this trip. The Irish people are too damned nice.
P.S. During this trip, I must write these posts on my cellphone. Tappy tappy tappy. Not sure that I can post pictures until I return to use the laptop.
The Dude will abide.