Medical Research

Recently I have taken to reading about the causes of prostate cancer.  Empathic readers will understand.  Which led me to these startling stories.

Medical researchers along with sociobiologists have recently discovered the cause of the swelling numbers of prostate cancer in men - rising exposure to and fixation on emails and web sites promising enhancement of the neighboring sex organ (you know).  The mechanism of this link remains unknown, tho some speculate that excessive abuse may not cause blindness alone.

Once they established this important process, these medical detectives turned their sights on female breast cancer, hoping to find causation from similar emails and web sites promising glandular augmentation.  Imagine their surprise to find that men read most of that content too.  They dubbed this discovery "Hugh Hefner Disease."

Many in the scientific community cite these results as proof of the accelerating decline and extinction of the male gender.  In anticipation, the National Organization of Women has been funding research on human hermaphroditic reproduction, or failing success, captive breeding.  Said a spokeswoman, "Those clowns won't take us with them."

"Quick, to the rocket ships, men.  Back to Mars!"

Bruce